No One Like Alice


The Northern Lights and polar sights,
Aurora Borealis;
They’re all nice, but I spend my nights
just dreaming of Alice

Way up north, where time ain’t short
and minutes seems like hours
in April form the fierce snowstorms
that for Alice would be showers

[Verse]And there’s no one like Alice,
at least not north of Nome
And sometimes just the thought of her
makes me wish I’d stayed at home

For there’s no one like Alice
above the polar line
Though if I ever found one,
I know I’d feel fine

The Eskimos wear furry clothes
that hide their women’s hips
I could rub noses, I suppose,
but I miss my Alice’s lips

She threw me out, so beyond a doubt
I should stop thinking of her
She made me pout, and she made me shout,
but god, I still do love her

[Verse]For there’s no one like Alice
above Saskatchewan
And the mem’ry of our early times
makes me wish I wasn’t gone

Yes, there’s no one like Alice
beyond the Bering Sea
Or if there is one out there,
she’s still hiding from me

It’s been two years and 2,000 beers
since I left my Alice
She cried no tears when she boxed my ears,
but I don’t bear her no malice

I still don’t know why she made me go
to live in this frozen palace
And if a sweet-and-low beauty would show,
I could stop thinking of Alice

[Verse]But there’s no one like Alice
around the Baffin Bay
Lord knows I’ve tried to find one
for many a winter’s day

And there’s no one like Alice
amidst the icy waste
But if one were to show up,
I’d marry her in haste